Deeper Than The Surface
by Only Yuri
Summary: Gourry's dead, two young women try to find comfort in each other; shoujo-ai
1. A Lost Love

This fan fiction has shoujo-ai in it; if you don't like it, then please don't read it! Thx! :Þ

Sylphiel's thoughts

"No, Gourry, please, you can't do this…it's impossible for you…" 

_"Shh, Lina, it's all right now…don't worry, I'll be back in no time, all right?"_

_"No, you can't…you don't have your sword of light anymore…GOURRY!!"_

_But Gourry surged forward, regardless of Lina's genuine screams of concern.  Suddenly, a new flash of light came from the already bright area ahead, and Lina could not see Gourry's tall figure any longer.  She reached out, but her feet did not allow her to go forward.  She screamed Gourry's name one last time, but did not receive an answer._

_"Oh my Cepheid…please…no…"_

~*~

Lina sat up suddenly in bed, her forehead covered with sweat, but she did not make any effort to wipe it.  She looked upward, to the bland ceiling of the inn.  Lina would have wanted desperately to say it was merely a nightmare, but that wasn't true.  Lina was revisiting an event that had completely changed her life.  It had been real.  Her eyes were once again wet, and she was hardly surprised when a drop of her tears landed on her hands that were clasped before her on the bed.  She had no strength to wipe those away either.  Finally, she let her head fall, and the tears fell freely to the bed, dampening the thin sheets.  Only one thing pulsed through her mind: Gourry was dead.

~*~

End Part 1

When Phibrizo had taken Gourry, Lina's heart had ripped, but she was determined to get him back.  But now, she hardly even had the incentive to wake up in the morning.  But her stomach had insisted, and Lina was frustrated to learn that even her feelings could not overcome her appetite.  So Lina dressed, and slowly stepped downstairs into the inn's small restaurant nook.  She sat down, sighed and slunk down into her same old degenerate state since Gourry's death.  But that wasn't before she ordered four helpings of the breakfast course.  There was some noise outside the restaurant, but Lina completely ignored it.  She was so into her personal thoughts that she didn't notice that everyone else had left.  Suddenly, a hand was slapped down on her table and she gradually looked up to find herself staring into the eyes of someone she presumed as the leader of a group of bandits.  The man was taken aback at the lack of fear or concern in Lina's face.  

"Look around you girl, every single person in this place has left, so it's just you and me…want to take a guess why everyone left?"

"Because…they're all cowards," answered Lina, and she stood up.

The man gave Lina a look of disgust that changed into surprise, and finally, fear.

"It's…it's you…" he stammered, backing away and recklessly overturning chairs.  "It's you…the bandit-killer…I gotta get out of here…" he scrambled out the door with on last, fleeting look.  Lina continued to stand there, as if in a daze.  Then, she carefully lowered herself down into her chair again.  The manager of the inn lifted himself from behind the counter and looked around the dining room first, then at Lina.

"Thank…thank you, miss." He gulped, still staring at Lina.

"That's great…now about my breakfast…"

The manager nodded immediately, and headed into the kitchen.

"Waitress!  Give this young lady her food!"

"Right away, but we're still getting it all ready!"

"All…?" He turned to give Lina a confused look, and nearly fell when the waitress came out with a tray full of food.

"Young lady…" he managed to gasp. "You're going to eat this all?!"

Lina did not answer, and the manager followed the tray of food with his eyes.  Lina dug in, but only half-heartedly.  She was concentrating so hard on the tabletop that she didn't notice the girl that walked in.

~*~

End Part 2

"Lina…?" Sylphiel whispered quietly to herself.  Then, she cleared her throat and tried once again.

"Lina…?!"

Lina paused and turned to look, and to Sylphiel's surprise, with nothing in her mouth.

"Sylphiel!…what…what are you doing here?!"

"Well, I was about to ask you the same thing…but since you asked first… I'm just on vacation.  Now, what brought you to these parts?"

Lina shrugged, and continued in her gorging.  

"Wait, something's missing here…of yes!" Sylphiel slapped herself on the forehead.  "Where's Gourry?  Isn't he usually with you, sneaking food from you?"

Again to Sylphiel's surprise, Lina stopped eating at once, literally dropping everything from her hands.

"Gourry's…" Lina tried to choke back tears. "Gourry's…not here."

"Oh…well, that's nothing to cry over…right?" Sylphiel tentively put a hand on Lina's shoulder.  

Lina did her best to smile. "It's just that…the food here…it's just SO good!" She continued to eat. But at a slower pace Sylphiel noted to herself.

"Well, Lina, it's so nice to see you again…how are things?"

Lina shrugged again, so instead of forcing her to talk, Sylphiel went ahead and talked about her good life ever since Slayers NEXT. 

She was still talking when Lina finished her breakfast.  She was so incredibly happy with the progress that she didn't notice that Lina was barely listening.  In fact, Lina had her head down, and she was frowning.  *How can she be so happy when…when Gourry's _dead_?!* Suddenly, she found herself resenting Sylphiel's presence.

"That's just great…" she mumbled, highly aware of the fact that her voice indicated the opposite.  

"I'm sorry…Lina, am I bothering you?  Maybe I…I should just go…I'm sorry…" Sylphiel made a move to leave, but Lina grasped her arm, lightly at first, but her hold gradually tightened.  Sylphiel noticed that Lina's head was down, and she sat down again.

"I'm the one that should be sorry Sylphiel…please don't leave me…" The last plea came in a soft whisper, so that Sylphiel could barely hear.

"Lina…" moments passed, "where _is_ Gourry?"

Lina took in a shaky breath.

"Gourry…Gourry's…" She blinked rapidly, but Sylphiel had already seen the tears.

"Gourry's dead."

~*~

End Chapter 1


	2. A Newfound Love

Sylphiel's heart stopped.  No, she can't be joking, I've never seen Lina so serious before. Her eyes lowered from Lina's face to one spot on the wood table. Her hands fell from the tabletop to her lap.  She closed her eyes for a second, then opened them again, trying to blink away tears.  The silence was a thick cloud that had descended upon the table.  The suffocating atmosphere in the restaurant was intensified a tenfold because it was completely empty.  Lina looked away Sylphiel, and now she could clearly see the wet streaks on Lina's face.

"When…" Sylphiel nearly choked, "when…did this happen? _What_ happened?"

Lina didn't speak for a while.  Then, as if just realizing the question, she answered a terse, "Five days ago."

"And what happened?"

"Things.  We were secretly following a sorcerer who said to someone else that he knew where some hidden treasure was.  Gourry…Gourry actually told me that he had a bad feeling about this.  It's my fault that he's dead!" Lina blinked away more tears. "The sorcerer had some sort of medallion with special powers…he must have known that we were following him and…he chanted something, but I couldn't hear, and then, a bright light came from the medallion.  By then, my powers were all gone; it how somehow _absorbed _it.  I remember the sorcerer's exact words: 'Without your powers, you will have no possible chance of defeating me.  I intend to kill you, Lina Inverse.  With this medallion, I will continue to absorb you until it was like you never even existed.'  I could already feel myself being drawn towards the light.  Gourry must have seen how weak I had become and decided to…sacrifice himself.  I couldn't do anything else, I couldn't think, I just…I just ran." At this point, Lina simply put her head down.

Sylphiel just sat still, worries that any movement on her part would send Lina over the edge.  Then she heard Lina quietly mumble something like, "I don't want to live anymore…"

Her heart froze again. What?! Please tell me Lina didn't just say what she just said. She shook her head viciously. That's ridiculous!  We'd be damned if the most powerful sorceress wanted to die.  No.  I must convince her in some way that she _must not die!_  I've never seen her broken…this isn't the strong and confident Lina I've always known.  She almost died once, and I'm going to save her again.

"I don't want to hear it." Sylphiel stated, almost to herself.

"What?" Lina lifted her head three inches to look at Sylphiel.

"I said, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" She stood, and slammed both palms on the table.

~*~

End Part 1

Her figure stood imposingly over Lina, as her shadow reached across the table.  Lina looked up at the older woman, and could not remember when she had made her so mad before.

"Don't you dare even _think_ about taking your own life, Lina!  I know you loved him, deeply, even thought you never admitted it, but…" her voice softened, "he would have wanted you to live your life to the fullest, with or without him, because he had a kind heart.  And he loved you.  The way he looked at you contrasted so deeply to when he saw me again for the first time in years.  He only remembered me as the girl 'who cooks good!' and he went after you when your body was taken over by the Lord of Nightmares.  Lina, there are so many people who love you for who you truly are.  You make a great impact on the lives of people around you.  True, sometimes it may not be for the better, but it is an impact that is positive in the long run.  Lina, please keep in mind of what I've said.  All of us are your family; I, Gourry, Amelia, Mister Zelgadiss, even Xelloss, if it's to a lesser degree.  You can't give up on us and our memories together."  Lina pondered over this last phrase.  But her mind could not focus completely on anything.  She stood, blinked, then swayed; thrown off balance by a wave of dizziness.  So both young women stood, one was looking down at the table, and the other was almost glaring at her company.  Then, Sylphiel's face softened, and she asked, "Lina…are you all right?"

Lina didn't know if she nodded at that point, because all her fatigue she had accumulated by not sleeping each might had finally caught up to her.  But Sylphiel was already there; ready to catch her.  Sylphiel picked her up, carried her, and realized just how heavy the smaller sorceress could be.

And she just ate, too.

Slowly, Sylphiel climbed the steps back up to Lina's room in the inn.

~*~

End Part 2

Sylphiel watched her while she slept.  Once, when Sylphiel was drowsing, she woke up to hear Lina moaning something in her sleep.  It sounded like, "Gourry…come back…please…" Lina had tossed in her bed; the blankets lay recklessly around the small bedroom.  Sylphiel saw that she was sweating profusely.  She felt her own forehead and Lina's, found that it was hotter than was usual.  Quickly, she wet a towel found in the bathroom and wet it with cold water.  After placing it on Lina's forehead, she softly murmured a Recovery on Lina's body.  And there she stayed for the rest of the night.

Lina was so tired she did not awaken until mid-afternoon.  She found the damp cloth on her head and pulled it off.  She was wondering why she felt so weak when Sylphiel suddenly popped into the room with breakfast.  From the looks of it however, Sylphiel had to drag herself from under the weight of the laden platter she was carrying.  Lina tried to lift herself to help, but she was surprised to find herself falling back.  Sylphiel gently arranged the pillows behind her so she could sit up.  All the while she was doing this; Lina stared at her.  *Why is she doing all this for me?  Doesn't she hate me for letting Gourry sacrifice himself for me?  Does she want something from me?  An apology?  An apology for ruining her chances with Gourry?*  When Sylphiel moved forward once again to fix her pillows, Lina grasped her arm.

"Why are you doing all of this?"

Sylphiel looked into Lina's eyes and noticed for the first time the ruby intensity of them.

"I'm trying to help you," she answered with gritted teeth, because she knew Lina wouldn't accept her help willingly.

"Why?" Lina persisted, still holding unto Sylphiel's arm.

But Sylphiel wretched her arm free.  "I try to help you and this is the thanks I get?!"  But then she softened; knowing Lina didn't need someone to yell at her now.

"I'm sorry, Lina, but I need to take care of you, at least for a few days." With that, she simply walked away and out the door to get what Lina assumed to be more food.

Lina, meanwhile, went through Sylphiel's actions in her head. The only thing I can remember from yesterday…Sylphiel's big speech about her influence on other people… For once, Lina seemed embarrassed of herself.  Then she remembered a key phrase. " 'All of us are your family; I, Gourry, Amelia…'" Lina closed her eyes, and leaned back fully on the pillows.  *But my real family, my parents, my sister…* She shuddered. *They're all gone in my mind.  They left no memory that I could cherish.  The only memories I have are the ones with Gourry, Sylphiel, Amelia, and Zel.  They are all…my life.*  She silently made a resolution to keep her memories forever.  She looked upward, at the ceiling, and for the first time in six days, smiled.

Sylphiel came in, indeed carrying another platter of steaming food.

"I thought you would have left by now…"

"I'm sorry."

Sylphiel stopped briefly from setting up the food and looked up at Lina.

"I'm…sorry?"

"Yes…for…for making you worry about me Sylphiel…I realized…that even though he's gone, he's still here…in my heart.  I just hope he's got good food up there…" Lina looked up once again to the ceiling, a hand on her heart.

"Lina…"

Lina looked back at Sylphiel, who had tears in her eyes, and had come closer to stand next to the bed.

"Sylphiel?"

Suddenly, and without warning, Sylphiel pulled Lina into a deep and bone-crushing hug.  Lina was surprised; she hasn't expected this must power from Sylphiel, someone who dealt with White Magic.  Slowly, Lina put her arms around Sylphiel, and she felt a tear drop on her shoulder.  "You've finally come back to me…" Sylphiel whispered.

A confused looked crossed Lina's face when they finally released each other.

In order to answer Lina's look, Sylphiel told her, "I've lost everyone I've ever loved.  My family, Gourry, but I'm not about to lose you, too." She placed a hand on Lina's cheek kissed her lightly.

She then stopped the kiss, and faced a bewildered Lina.

Lina sat there, her whole body tense as she replayed in her mind what just happened, the cooling food forgotten.  Sylphiel's face turned into dismay as she realized that Lina would not acknowledge her feelings for her.  Her hand slipped from Lina's cheek and onto the bed.  She slowly straightened, and was about to leave again when she felt a hand placed on hers.  Sylphiel turned to find that Lina's head was down; her eyes obscured by the shadows of her bangs.

"Please don't…leave me…" She said gently, just like she did when she first saw Sylphiel in the inn.  When she spoke, Sylphiel could hear the telltale whimper of tears in her voice.  She slowly stepped back to Lina's side.

Lina slowly brought up Sylphiel's hand to where she could feel her heart beating.  An unspoken understanding came between them, and they shared another kiss, more powerful than the last.

~*~

End Chapter 2

*~*~*

THE END


End file.
